my body

I feel like he doesn't like my body. He never tells me im beautiful anymore. He calls me cute all the time, but never sexy or beautiful. I ceased to feel anything much about him now. I miss him when i don't see him. But that urge to always be with him is gone. I have my friends and my life and I'm fine with that. Yet, i know i love him deeply...it's just masked by the lack of communication between us. I just want a break from all the fighting. I know that I can't live if he's not in my life. I hope I get back my feelings soon enough. Until then,
hope i survive.
The real reason is my poor body image. I think im too skinny. But i know my body isnt too bad. If only i had nicer, whiter skin. Not too white, but a nice tan colour. But what can i do? Poor body image wont stop even if i had teh loveliest body. Look at all those confident fat ppl and low self-esteem skinny girls. When i come back from canada i will be beautiful and sexy. Just you wait.

Confidence

You elude my grasp,
deftly - sly.
you teeter and sway
stringing me with you
this way
and that way

you love me tenderly
then slap me fiercely
you cry with me
you console me
you live with me
and i with you.

I want you
to be mine
yet you deny
you never knew me
and i never had you.

I lie to you
you tell me the truth
you show me the mirror
and stroke your raven hair
while i fumble with mine.

you fiddle and twiddle
all day long
you scream at my friends
until they cease to be
you deny me my right
yet you will be mine.

One day you will be
and i will be
your master.