Weekend Fiasco

This past weekend was a terrible nightmare. Tommy and i were fighting the whole time. It all started on saturday when we were supposed to go clubbing but he was too tired. We had sex but it wasn't amazing. I don't get turned on anymore because im not as confident as i used to be in the beginning of our relationship. I still love him, even more now i think, but it just seems that i've grown tired of him because we argue all the time. It hurts more now if he rejects me or spurns me because now i've grown more attached to him. And because he's gotten to know me more fully, it's all the more of a rejection of myself. But what i have to understand is that i can't control him or manipulate him. If i do that, he's soon going to get tired of me.
Im struggling, really struggling, with insecurity. I just want to be confident in myself. Like yesterday he kept looking at laura, opening doors for her, and just being conscious of her in general, and i felt myself withdrawing into my jealous place. It's so bad there. My stomach tightens and it feels like i'm about to go on national tv...just a bundle of nerves. But when ant did the same thing, L reacted with absolute confidence. I mean, luce does it to her all the time but she handles it well. And tommy said yesterday that laura's more patient than i am. He's so tactless sometimes. But it doesnt mean that he doesn't love me.
I think i want him to love every aspect of me, and only me. I can't expect that from anybody, really. Not even my own parents. I'm not the center of the universe, and i have to accept that there are people better than me in regard to certain qualities. He can't find just me attractive. I've scared him off of many things that he now doesn't do. he doesnt play poker, doesn't watch porn, doesn't tease me about girls, and so forth. It's all fun and games sometimes, but other times he knows i get jealous and bitchy. I have to stop being so sensitive. I'm going to think twice before reacting at every single thing. I have to let some things go because it's really mean to have a hang up about everything. Jesus, please help me be a good girlfriend, daughter, friend, lover, and student. I want to pass my exams with flying colours. Please help me to be more hardworking and studious. I need your help lord, to do everything in my life.