Tommy and I have improved a lot in the past few weeks. This is mainly because I became more patient and he became more lenient. We didn’t have any power struggles and I felt happy/ confident in our relationship. I know he loves me to death, and I can’t imagine life without him, but the sex is really getting to me and we had a bad argument last night. He initiated sex but it was as bland as dry bread. I wasn’t getting turned on for some reason. He just does this thing where he kisses me like there are a million other things he’d rather do but he’ll take some time off to roll his tongue in my mouth like a Japanese puffer fish. And then he just sorts of lies there doing nothing until I take it a step further. I guess what I really want is for sex to be more passionate and needy. Like he wants to have sex and not like it’s some big chore. I mean, it’s not like we never had hot sex and he’s incapable of giving me a good time. We had plenty of great nights. But the simple truth is, I want sex more times than he does, so I feel like the weaker one of the pair. And then i get resentful because I don’t want to feel weaker, and then appear distant which makes him think i don’t enjoy sex. I just think we need to have a good talk and clear the air. So here’s my little sex letter to tommy:
Baby,I’m sorry about last night. It was totally the wrong way to talk about what was on my mind beause you were tired and we were in the middle of sex. I know i always do a terrible job of communicating with you, but I just wanted to tell you a few things to make sex better for both of us without offending you. So here goes: I’d like it to be more spontaneous and passionate when we have sex. I always feel closer to you after having sex, and even though we fall asleep straight after, i always feel happy and content about us. By passionate i mean that now and then it would be nice if you just saw me and wanted to have sex with me without waiting till we get to bed and finish watching movies or something. It’s really hot if you came in the room, threw me on the bed and had your way with me :D. I know it sounds really stupid to say it, that’s why i didn’t want to before. Also, i remember you saying you took your ex lingerie shopping and you had so much fun (you told me a long time ago when we were talking on msn). Sometimes i wonder why you don’t even show me what you think would be sexy, and i can only come to the conclusion that you don’t think about me like that. It might not be true, but I feel about as sexy to you as an old dish towel. I know work takes up a lot of your time and that’s why you don’t have time to think about these kinds of things, but baby, im 20 and you’re 24, we’ll never be this young again and i just want to enjoy our time. You have the rest of your life to work because from now on until you retire in about 40/50 years, you will be working. Is it worth working longer days for a bit more profit if you’re tired all the time? It’s your call but it does have an effect on our relationship. I don’t have any right to tell you how to run your business, but i just want you to be happy. Because happy me = happy you and the same is true the other way around. We make each other happy. To be honest, i’m really embarrassed making this much of an issue out of sex. But it’s really not about just sex. Everybody wants to feel wanted and sexy to the person they love and I just want the same thing. I don’t want to feel like im with a friend when im with you because i have namita and them for that. I want to feel like im with my bf who wants me. And the reason you don’t have enough energy for sex is because you don’t find the effort worth it. We should figure out how to make sex more enjoyable and relaxing because right now it’s just taking your energy for no particular reason since you don’t even cum during sex.
· You don’t look at my body when having sex
· Sex not passionate/spontaneous
· Never try to take sex to another level...boring
· Get really defensive/embarrassed about sex
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