Positive Outlook

I've been in Canada for a month now. It's really hot weather here in Vancouver, like always in the summer. I'm feeling really icky and sweaty and a bit cranky as well. I got into an argument with tommy today..a tiny one. At this point in our relationship, he and I can both see it coming as soon as we talk to each other. Maybe i sort of start an argument on purpose. Everything boils down to my insecurities...actually, insecurities in both of us. He got really mad when I said stuff about cute asian boys, and I get mad when he talks about blondes. That's because deep inside i feel like he prefers blondes. Why do I think that?

If he really wanted one, then why didnt he try to find a blonde?? He knew exactly what I looked like when he started dating me...and he liked what he saw. He really liked it. It's just my insecurities about myself that have pushed him away. I don't know why i think he settled for me because he couldn't get what he wanted. Blondes are no more hard to get than any other type of girl...he could've gotten one. She might not have been the movie-star type of girl, but he can get a decent girl i'm sure. He didn't because he loved my personality. I have to realize that it's not about a type of look, it;s about the whole package. He loves my whole package; he loves ME. He says i'm beautiful, sexy, smart all the time. I know he means those things.

I vowed to myself that I will concentrate on improving my confidence for the rest of 2008. I always have to think positively, and no matter what happens I have to get back on track. To make it easier, I will cut down on my tv time and magazines where I will not see ideals that I can't reach. I'm not alone in this, and I will seek help from others to become more confident.


1. What do i want to change about my body? I want to have fatter legs that will look better in heels, I want lighter skin, flatter stomach, unhairy armpits, unprickly skin on legs,

2. What do I like about my looks already? I like that im not fat, I have a pretty face, I have nice nails, nice/ manageable hair, nice eyes, good boobs and nice butt

3. What do i like about myself? I'm smart and I know how to do things,I have a great personality that I will show to my friends, I'm funny, I care about people taht I love, I'm willing to learn, ambitious, passionate, adventurous, accepting, forgiving, loving, interesting