Resentments

Recently I've been really horrible to PB and was really angry at him. The thing is, I'm really resentful about things that even I'm not sure of. Why is it that I get angry at him so often now? I can estimate a guess at a few possible reasons. One is that he didn't get me a gift for my birthday, or made it special in any way. After valentines day arguments I was looking forward to receiving some special attention, or romance on my birthday but all I got was a dinner that I planned myself..just like valentines. Another reason why I'm angry could be that he tries to flirt with my friends and check out every girl he sees. I feel like I'm not the type to be attractive to him because I don't look like normal girls. I'm thin and even though I know im attractive, I feel sometimes that he finds another type more attractive. Also, he borrowed a lot of money from me, and i let him use my credit card and everything as often as he liked. But he would still buy his friends a drink rather than me. I know I'm being unfair in expecting him to spend every spare penny on me, but I think he should take care of his gf who's been at his side through all of it rather than randoms who would never do anything like that. Lastly (this is a long list of resentments!!...no wonder im angry), new year's eve when he left me to fend for myself in my drunken state. I will never forgive him for that. 

But on the plus side, he actually listens to me most of the time. He loves me and wants to take care of me. Even though he gets obnoxious and weird when drunk he tries his best when sober. He fixed the whole sex issue now, and he tries to be nice to me. And I know he doesn't have that many friends here so I shouldn't be such a bitch when he wants to spend some money to drink with A or go out with his friends. I've done worse things in this relationship than that. 3 times. the last being the worst. I've been bad too. And even though he checks out girls i know he loves me only. I guess I just have to accept that guys are like that and let it go. He cant just look at me all the time...so let him look at the menu but eat only 1 dish :)