Heartbroken

I hadn't realized until now just how sad I am about my relationship with my eldest brother. I am so deeply hurt by him that i feel like breaking down everytime i think about it. Like today my mom said how much he loved me when i was little and that made me so unbelievably sad because i remember him taking me places and spending time with me. Apparently they were all obsessed with me when i was little. I am no longer the princess, and don't even get special treatment anymore. That i can somehow handle..but being treated the way i was in england? that had just broken my heart. But I will forgive him and keep loving him as if he had done me no wrong. I will accept him and and his wife as my family and will not think evil thoughts about them.

The same is true for Fran and Sam, both who have ripped me off about cambridge. They wronged me and caused me so much stress, but If i ever were to meet them again I would have forgiven them. Not forgotten, but forgiven. Because I would be a fool to ever again forget what they can do and what they're capable of...but it doesn't mean that I have to keep resentment in my heart because that would only poison myself.

Likewise, whoever I meet from now on that would cause me any pain or suffering, I won't avenge myself. I don't need to worry so much about justice and getting my fair share, because God will take care of that for me. I just need to obey his laws and be love everyone. Please God, help me to love my neighbor as myself, and to heal my broken heart.

"Never avenge yourself, but leave it to the wrath of God." Romans 12:19