Summer 09

This summer has been chock full of "learning experiences," as my brother puts it. If you ask me, all of life is a learning experience. It started out when I decided to live with my to-be-colleagues at cambridge in a shared house. I paid 877 pounds and ended up getting back 370. The people I was supposed to live with, Fran and Sam, just completely ripped me off. And the stupid thing was that I didn't even get a reciept for the money i transferred directly into Fran's bank account. If I were to go to court I would've had no proof whatsoever. It just caused me so much stress for about 2-3 weeks while I was at virginia, trying to sort everything out and get back my money. In the end, i didn't even end up doing my placement. I went back to uk after staying at my bro's for 1 1/2 months, and stayed there a week. I was so lost and homesick when I went back, partly because of jetlag, that i didnt want to do the placement anymore. I just couldn't wait to get back to virginia.

I also didn't want to stay with PB anymore. Let me explain where the learning experiences lay. I was getting closer to God while I was here, and with each week my relationship with him became stronger. Now I am fully aware that he has a plan for me. Even though I didn't want to listen, and i still dont, when God told me that PB wasn't part of my plan anymore, I still feel that he's trying to tell me that. When I saw him at the airport I wasn't excited to see him like I should've been. I was just merely let down and disappointed. So I told him that I wanted to break up but he broke down in tears, and I felt the pit of my stomach caving into itself...really horrible uneasy feeligns that I couldn't even eat or sleep. It was just the few most awful days of this year...if not my whole life...to see him like that. I really don't want to hurt him so much but can i just stay with him not to hurt him? Anyhow, i caved and told him we'll decide a month after I got back. So less than a week later i hopped back on the plane and flew back here where I am now, and that's where things stand.

I still feel like I need to continue on my journey to seek a relationship with God while I'm here. But other than that, and taking care of babies, I feel like I'm wasting time. I should be doing something constructive like my friends who are doing studentships and placements..going out on the weekends and having fun. Instead I stay home most of the day, day after day, looking after babies. I know i'll miss it when I go back..but with more than 6 weeks to go, I feel like that day couldnt come soon enough. I want to go back to school, and make the most of my last year. And I know that with God's help, his teachings, and a positive attitute, I just might be able to make it. :)