Outlook and Progress

So I thought I'd catch up on the past few months on my blog since a few important things have happened since I last updated. I went to vancouver for the christmas holidays and, suprisingly/unexpectedly, had a fabulous time. I'm slowly starting to realize that it's possible to be happy anywhere, and that it's the happiness you carry within yourself that ultimately determines whether or not you're content in a certain situation. Also realized that it's God that gives you that inner joy to overcome your circumstances.

I've also misbehaved quite badly, and I'm ashamed to say that it could've easily been prevented. A few days ago we went out with some guys and I dressed in an immodest way and embarrassed myself thoroughly by getting drunk and acting silly. Since then I've made a serious resolution to stop drinking altogether. It's no use attempting to limit alcohol intake because drinking a little only makes you tired, and so drink more to get to the state of numbness where I can party all night. I also want to dress nicely, but modestly. In the future I won't wear anything too revealing or short.

What else? Oh yeah, my final year project. I'm working with this postgrad student who's trying to synthesize a gene to encode pseudin. To be honest i'm a little confused as to what the aim of the whole thing is really. All I know is that I loved being in the research lab and doing things...it was so different from the teaching labs. Nothing was pre-testing so we're doing original research, which explains why the cells are not growing and everything's messing up, but I can really see myself doing this everyday. Discovering new things, having the freedom to work your own hours, and doing something that has potential important uses would be just amazing. And the thing is, even though I have the freedom to stay and go as I please, I end up staying the whole day in the lab without realizing it. It's great! Only thing I wish is that Sam would stop treating me like a baby and let me do my thing. I hate being watched in every single thing I do and being given minimal responsibility, it's so patronizing. Ah well, there will soon come a day where I can do my own thing and then i'll complain that I have too much responsibility.

All in all, the past 2 months have gone by really quickly. I miss my parents, and I miss my friends still, but not with the aching emptiness I did before. I will be okay, and I'm very motivated to finish my degree with flying colours. Relationship with God is progressing okay, but I yearn to know him better and to study the bible more. I'm still reading a chapter-a-day but I doubt I'm doing more than scratching at the surface. I look forward to the day that I'll be able to attend a proper bible study and get involved in church. For now, I don't think I even deserve God's mercy. I haven't been a good example of a christian, and I have succumbed to temptation too easily. One thing I want to do is control that habit of mine..giving in easily. I pray for self-control this month and also for my project to actually work!! Let's see how the next month goes :)