The Next Step?

Just started revision in earnest, putting up motivational quotes and really gearing myself up for the long haul. I know that the end of this will bring good results if I keep at it and work really hard. God has helped me so much these past few weeks, and indeed, my whole life. I've been getting to know him more through bible study and fellowship. I now understand why it's important to separate myself from this world as much as possible and try to be with people that love God the way I do. I just feel more understood and safe in their presence than I do with my friends. I didn't know for sure if I could depend on my friends during hard times..and I can see now that I can't. Haven't seen most of them for ages, and the last time I saw fetus she was moaning about getting home to her bed. It's not the same as before, and I'm sure I'm expecting too much from friends. Friends, family, people in general, you can't trust them!!! The people you can trust the most are family, but even they relapse sometimes. In the end, if you desperately need and wait on them for love, sympathy, support you might not get it...which always end in bitter disappointment. God always gives you those things without exception and without conditions. So the best option is to rely on God for those things, and appreciate it when you get it from people. Love in humans is a reflection of God's love, so why not depend on the original source for the most impact? I love Him, and I know He loves me beyond my imagination. Truly, no one can ever love me like he could. So i'm not sad, i'm not unhappy in these lonely times. I wish I had my friends to share a few laughs and good times and it would certainly be nice. But I know God has my best interest at heart, and if he thinks this is what the situation should be, then I know that it's the best way. If I had them around I would've certainly gotten distracted and deviated from my walk with Christ.

Yesterday as I was walking back from uni it dawned on me how much he really has done, and how he's truly answered all my prayers. 3 years ago i prayed for a boyfriend and someone to love, and I found tommy. His love wasn't perfect, but my time with him taught me so much without truly damaging me. I asked for some companionship and I found the bible study. I asked for my project to succeed and I got the results I wanted. It's so nice to know that my Father loves me and he's taking care of me. How can I be depressed while knowing that fact? He wants me to leave UK and go to the states. I know that my life here is a distraction from God. I would party and fall back to my old ways if I stay here any longer. So I need to go and find myself a job in the States. So here's to the next adventure!!