No Serious Dating in 2010

I'm back dear void, stronger and lonelier than ever. It not only seems that I'm confused and depressed most of the time for anyone that may stumble across this blog, but I feel like that's been my reality for the past few years. Loneliness has always simmered below the surface of my existence..and it has always threatened to overflow. And no matter what my circumstances/relationships had been, I had always been lonely because I haven't learned to be secure by myself.

I broke up with tommy about 2 weeks ago. I told him I don't want to be with him and was feeling fine, even great, for a while. But about 2-3 days ago the loneliness once again hit me. I cried, I messaged him, I suffered and moaned and groaned and complained. Well, it feels like he has moved on and I haven't and I guess that's what is bothering me. Anyway, I'm going to continue to depend on Christ in my journey, and really just trust him for strength to fight through this loneliness once and for all. I think the best way to tackle this is in steps. Rather than dating straight away to get rid of this loneliness, which is desperately what I want to do right now, I will work to make myself feel content all by myself rather than counting on someone else to make me feel that way. I don't know what the 12 step program for overcoming loneliness is, but I'm gonna start a step anyway and name it the first:

1. Befriending guys

I realize that I have no male friends that I am close to, and that I really need to make more of an effort to befriend guys. I always approach guys with the subconscious thought that either they are a potential romantic partner, or that they like me and I don't want to become romantically involved with them. Instead of approaching from this angle, I really want to just be friends with guys and learn about how they think. I don't want to be intimidated by guys or anyone. I know my worth in God's eyes, and I know the Creator of all things loves me and deems me valuable so why should I be afraid of others opinions? Now if only I can truly put that to practice. Today my prayer is that God help me to open my heart and my soul to others so that they can truly see God's love in me. I want to make a guy friend each month until the end of this year, and stay friends with them. This month that friend can be Chris. I will invite him again to church and continue to shine for Jesus. My prayer is that you help me achieve this Jesus.

Wish me luck my faithful void!